Friday, February 13, 2009

Roses Are Red

By Hunter Burgan

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you won't be mine
I'll have to kill you

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I cut off your air
And your face is blue too

Roses are red
Violence is great
I burned down the bistro
Where we had our first date

Roses are red
Violets aren't purple?
When the blood leaves your jugular
It goes "gurgle gurgle"

Roses are red
Why won't you die!?
Guns and knives
And chainsaws, oh my!

Roses are red
And so is your blood
When you fall 22 stories
Your body goes "THUD!"

Roses are red
Violets are "in"
I want to sew a pantsuit
Out of your skin

Roses are red
I'm being quite hostile
When I take an ice pick
And shove it up your nostril

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
But it's actually poison

19 comments:

  1. Hey wow..
    At some point I couldn't stop the laughing, at others I was just kinda scared.
    I don't want to meet you with a knife in your hand now, either.

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  2. Hunter,
    Did you write this? I love it! A little freaky..but still loving it!

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  3. damn, ive never seen this side of you..but its all good, i guess..

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  4. but seriously, what is wrong with you? what inspired you to write such sick sadistic things? i think you need to be tranquilized and locked away in a maximum security isolated cooler with padded walls w/ a straight-jacket and heavily medicated..

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  5. Haha!
    I loved this!
    Mentally disturbed but good use of words better than the usual soppy Valentines crap.

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  6. Well you're obviously a multi-talented chap!
    Loved the poem! Very Nick Cave-ish!
    The last verse was my favorite.

    Now I want to hear more of that!

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  7. I changed my mind. It's a tie. I can't help loving also the verse # 7:

    "Roses are red
    Violets are "in"
    I want to sew a pantsuit
    Out of your skin"

    It is just sheer prettyness.

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  8. Hunter.... you scare me at times

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  9. lmao so funny.

    .....and true. XD

    This should be in a card.
    You should make those fake humorous cards.
    I'd totally by this and give it to someone.

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  10. feel the love
    o yeah

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  11. Oh dear. Recession saw the cut of the therapy budget?

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  12. haha reminds me a bit of the Gashlycrumb Tinies.

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  13. The third stanza is defintely my favorite.

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  14. Love makes me feel like this, sometimes.


    Violence is the answer.

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  15. Pansies are Red, Carnations are yellow.
    You make my face happy, you funny fellow.
    Think if it weren't wrong, to plagiarize this,
    I'd send it to an ex, with my own little twist:
    Roses are red, sugar is sweet,
    I don't miss your touch,
    But still good enough to eat.
    A little pepper, a splash of lime.
    I'll remember you fondly...
    At suppertime.

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